This episode is pure TOS through and through. As usual, Kirk gets kidnapped by some kind of super-being, and as usual, masochstic Kirk can't resist the urge to try to convince the super-being to kick his ass. Once again, the mythological horndog-playboy Kirk is completely absent, and instead we find more evidence of possibly-Gay Kirk. Despite the obvious presence of an absolutely gorgeous dame, Kirk never betrays the slightest sign of a heterosexual urge - and this stands in stark contrast to the obviously very heterosexual behavior of nearly every other male in the episode. BTW, Kirk does, once again, demonstrate clearly homophilic behavior several times, which actually *is* more solid evidence that he cares more for males than he does for females - as usual - as I shall explain.
This episode opens on the sight of a beautiful young blond woman in a blue tunic. We soon learn that she is Lt. Carolyn Palamas, a specialist in archaeology, anthropology, and ancient civilizations. Palamas delivers a report on Pollux 5 to Captain Kirk.
Kirk appreciates the report, and tells her to prepare another one, this time on Pollux 4.
[NOTE: Kirk doesn't seem to appreciate the woman, though.]
McCoy waylays Lt. Palamas as she tries to hand somehting to Mr. Spock, and says she looks tired. She explains that she was up all night preparing her report for Kirk.
[NOTE: Most women wouldn't take your concerned remark as a compliment, Bones.]
Mr. Scott sees his chance, and invites Palamas to have coffee with him. He has better luck.
[NOTE: Obviously Scott and McCoy appreciate Palamas as a woman.]
As Lt. Palamas prepares to exit with Scotty, she stops to chat with Uhura for a bit.
"I'm not sure I like that, Jim." McCoy grouses.
[NOTE: I'm not sure what he doesn't like... the fact that Scotty is trying to take his girl, or the fact that Palamas and Uhura seem to like each other.]
Kirk seems momentarily confused by McCoy's remark (so it's not just me).
Kirk: "Why, Bones? Scotty's a good man!"
[NOTE: Kirk apparently thinks that McCoy disapproves of the idea of Scotty and Carolyn together, because Bones disapproves of Scotty - like he's not good enough for her. Odd that it doesn't occur to Kirk that McCoy might disapprove because he wanted her for himself. Is it possible that Kirk has reason to believe that McCoy wouldn't want her for himself?. It is well established that McCoy and Kirk are fond of each other, but I wonder if it's really THAT FOND?
BTW, I wonder how Kirk knows that Scotty is a good man? I wonder how well he knows, I mean! How well he personally knows, that is!]
"I'm not sure _she_ thinks he's the right man." McCoy clarifies, obviously still hopeful about his own chances with the lovely young Lieutenant.
[NOTE: McCoy recieved no encouragement from Palamas, so the hope is clearly all on his end.]
McCoy: (to Kirk): On the other hand she is a woman... All Woman."
[NOTE: Whatever ~that~ means.]
Kirk (noncomittally): "Mmm."
[NOTE: Whatever ~that~ means.]
McCoy: "One day she'll find the right man and then off she'll go, out of the service."
Kirk (philosophically): "Mm Hm. Well, I like to think of it not so much as losing an officer, as gaining...."
(They watch Scotty and Palamas exit together)
Kirk: "...come to think of it, I'm losing an officer!"
[NOTE: Hard to say which one he's worried about losing. If everything goes the way Scotty would like, Kirk might lose *two* officers!
Here is more evidence that when people get married in the TOS universe, they are "mommy-tracked" - required to drop out of deep-space service. We got a hint of that in Balance Of Terror, too. I suppose they can still be in Starfleet, but "family-men" and "family-women" are probably given less hazardous duty assignments.
This explains why someone (like Kirk) who's very dedicated to the more hazardous fast-track might avoid marriage. People who have no intention of marrying would be considered ideal for such careers. Kirk obviously has no intention of marrying. He avoids ~anything~ that might potentially lead to marriage, you may have noticed.]
Just as Kirk and crew prepare to write off the whole Pollux star-system as uninhabited and uninteresting, an energy field in the shape of a giant green hand stops the Enterprise dead in space.
Kirk tries some maneuvering tricks in an attempt to wriggle the Enterprise free but is unsuccessful.
Spock notifies Kirk of "a most curious development" on scanner 5-7.
[NOTE: I love the cute, quaint way Spock talks, don't you?]
Next, the handsome face of a man wearing a crown of laurels appears on the viewscreen, addresses the crew, saying: "You are most welcome, my beloved children: your places await you!" He congratulates them for venturing so bravely forth from the hills and valleys of Earth.
He's friendly, but Kirk isn't. Kirk doesn't like this guy's way of saying hello. Kirk firmly tells the apparition to release the Enterprise - several times. The guy doesn't like Kirk's attitude, so he "closes his hand" causing the hull pressure to rise, and rise, until Kirk is forced to knuckle under, lest the ship be crushed.
"All right! Whatever you are doing, turn it off! You win!" Jim cries. Fortunately, this works.
[NOTE: All Kirk is thinking about at this time is the safety of his ship and crew, as usual. Nevertheless, he's already playing it as a domination game... which is, in fact, what it is.
I feel it is my duty to point out that domination games disguised as alien encounters were standard fare on TOS.]
The mysterious and powerful being next invites Kirk and his party for a visit, but he pointedly excludes Spock, because he says Spock reminds him of Pan, and "Pan always bored me"!
[NOTE: What a coincidence! Spock always bores people too! Especially behind closed doors. OK, that is just a rumor ;)
Actually, Spock and Pan have much in common: "Satanic" appearence; half-human, half-something else; are musicians... I could go on.]
Spock acts upset that he can't stay with Kirk, which is always where he'd rather be, but Kirk seems relieved to be leaving Spock in charge of the ship.
"We'll tackle him together." Kirk promises Spock.
[NOTE: I just love Kirk's evocative choice of words, don't you!? ]
[NOTE: Don't worry, Spock. Your chance to bore will yet come, just wait.]
Kirk beams down with, Dr. McCoy, Mr. Scott, Lt. Palamas, and Ensign Chekov. A big deal is made about the fact that Palamas is there. There are a couple of lines devoted to explaining why she is there.
[NOTE: a perfect example of a typical TOS red herring. Our attention is drawn by the Palamas question precisely so we don't question why Uhura or Sulu *aren't* there!]
The landing party soon see their captor, seated on a high white marble throne: a handsome, young-looking, muscular guy with a shaved chest, wearing a teeny little gold lame' mini-dress, who finally identifies himself.
"I am APOLLO!", sez their host.
"And I am the czar of all the russias!", Chekov wittily retorts.
"Mr. Chekov...." cautions Kirk.
"I'm sorry Keptin, I've never met a GOD before!" Chekov smiles.
"And you haven't yet!" Kirk assures him.
[NOTE: Uh oh. Apollo is one of the most notorious bisexual Gods in Greek mythology.
http://www.androphile.org/preview/Library/Mythology/Greek/ApolloHyacinthus/
Did I say GREEK?
http://www.androphile.org/preview/Culture/Greece/greece.htm
Why yes, I did. Back in Apollo's day, male/male love was not only accepted, it was a freakin' sacrament, for cryin' out loud. Apollo was technically one of the Gods in charge at that time. So was Pan, now that I think about it.
http://www.androphile.org/preview/Library/Mythology/Greek/ ]
"Apollo" tells Kirk that he will not allow the landing party to leave, renders their communicators ineffective, and demands worship.
Kirk refuses, saying, "If you want to play God and call yourself Apollo, that's your business...but you're no God to us, mister!"
Apollo makes himself grow 30 feet tall, obviously hoping that his increased size will better impress Kirk.
"Welcome to Olympus, Captain Kirk!" Apollo bellows, obviously singling Kirk out for special attention.
[NOTE: I don't know what Supersized Apollo's got under his skirt, but Kirk takes a look, and doesn't seem too impressed.
Let's face it: Kirk's been around!]
Meanwhile, aboard the ship, Spock is working hard to puzzle out a solution. There's lots of technobabble mumbo-jumbo about various tricks they have tried or are planning to try.
"Locate all life forms: I want to know what's going on down there!" Spock commands.
Apollo exits, temporarily, and Kirk and gang go to work on trying to unravel the mystery of who and what he really is. Kirk takes McCoy aside to pose to him the idea that the being they have encountered really is the Apollo of Earth's classical myths. McCoy is skeptical.
[NOTE: But we are given no reason to assume otherwise.]
Apollo, after a brief recess, comes back.
"Apollo... we're willing to talk, but you'll find we don't bow to every creature who happens to have a bag of tricks!", sez Kirk.
Apollo, unfazed, compares Kirk to the classic Greek heroes Agamemnon, and Hercules, implying that Kirk is foolishly uppity, like they were.
[EDUCATIONAL NOTE: Agamemnon was the mortal leader of the Greek forces in the famous Trojan war, Hercules was Apollo's half-brother, by Zeus.]
When Apollo tells Kirk that he intends to keep them all there to cherish (or not) at his whim, Palamas steps up and boldly demands an explanation.
Apollo seems thrilled with uppityness when it's coming from a pretty woman. He begins to show active interest in Lt. Palamas, which Palamas apparently doesn't mind, but which Mr. Scott finds offensive. Scotty gets angry, and tells Apollo to leave her alone.
[NOTE: Kirk doesn't care who likes Palamas or who Palamas likes. He certainly doesn't seem jealous, like Scotty does.]
Scotty draws his phaser and tries to shoot Apollo, but Apollo instantly blasts it out of his hand with a power-bolt. Chekov also draws and tries to fire on Apollo, but his phaser simply doesn't work.
[NOTE: Kirk doesn't order either of them to fire, and his own phaser remains untouched. Where is the pistol-packin' hothead Kirk of fabled fame, Mr. Shoot-First, And Ask-Questions-Later? What do you know, HE AIN'T HERE! Of course, true fans of TOS wouldn't expect him to be here.]
What does Kirk ~actually~ do in this situation? Well, first, he places his hands on Scotty as if to comfort/restrain him, then he kneels, picks up Scotty's , melted phaser, and diplomatically says to Apollo:
"Very impressive. How'd you do it?"
[NOTE: Kirk is 100% focused on his job right then. He understands that they are the captives of a very powerful and emotional creature, and he is acting appropriately. His remark is an attempt to coax some useful information out of Apollo.
OTOH, maybe Kirk understands that they are the captives of a very powerful and emotional creature, and he has already decided to get with the program, and start kissing his new master's ass. Note the astonishing ease with which he slips into and out of this role... like such games are second nature to him.]
With a magical gesture Apollo changes Palamas' uniform into a glamourous Greek-style gown.
[NOTE: He's not just a God, he's a fashion designer! Gee, I dunno... maybe that's divine, but is it BUTCH?]
[NOTE: This is a frightfully important point, so pay attention...
Apollo and Kirk have one oddity in common: if they take a liking to somebody, they like to show their appreciation by dressing them in different clothes. Apollo symbolically claims erotic possesion of Palamas when he undresses her, and dresses her in something he likes better. Well, Kirk does that sort of thing too, several times: in Tomorrow Is Yesterday, for example, the first thing Kirk does with the cute Captain Christopher is to ask him to shimmy out of his flight-suit, and into something more comfortable. Kirk takes Khan's clothes away, and gives him a Starfleet uniform to wear. And Kirk several times gets in situations where he is undressing and dressing Spock. Kirk pointed a tommy gun at two gangters in Piece Of The Action, and ordered them out of their clothes precisely so he and Spock could shimmy out of their uniforms and dress in those guy's clothes while they were still warm.
Same thing with the Nazi uniforms in Patterns Of Force. Kirk and Spock were undressing and dressing like crazy in that one. There's one amazing scene in that ep with Kirk, Spock and McCoy all LITERALLY in the closet together, as McCoy gets dressed in his Nazi uniform... because Kirk demanded it...
But I digress...]
Palamas is amazed, but oddly, take it all totally in stride. Scotty, however, is practically foaming at the mouth over this latest outrage. When Apollo takes her hand and begins to lead her away, Scott cries, "She's not goin' with you!" and rushes at Apollo. Apollo strikes Scotty with another power-bolt before the guy even gets close, and Scotty goes flying.
Kirk takes a hesitant step toward Apollo, but Palamas says, "It's all right Captain, I'll go."
[NOTE: What does she think, that Kirk was about to offer to go instead? Knowing Kirk, that's actually possible.]
She consents to go off with Apollo, and that's good enough for Kirk. Kirk assumes that Palamas is going to attempt to seduce Apollo ~for the team~, like he would do if he were in her place. To Kirk, that is a perfectly legitamate strategy: one he's used himself, many times. He doesn't dare say or do anything that might blow it for her.
After Apollo and Palamas exit, Kirk gives Scotty a dressing-down and chewing-out for his silly, unprofessional defense of Palamas' chastity:
"Mr. Scott, I understand your concern over her, but she volunteered to go with him - hopefully to find out more about him! She's doing her job: I think it's about time you started doing yours!"
And...
"I want no more unauthorized action against 'Apollo' or whatever-he-is! That's An Order!"
"Aye-aye, sir." replies the chastened Mr. Scott.
Then Jim Kirk reaches out, places a gentle, affectionate hand on Scott's shoulder, and softly adds:
"Besides, you stiff-necked thistlehead, you could have gotten yourself killed!"
[NOTE: Ka-Ching! Hey, look at the cute, affectionate ~floral~ pet-name Kirk gives Scotty. What's the score so far? Well, twice in this episode Kirk has showed that he cared about Mr. Scott, and laid hands on Mr. Scott, and he hasn't cared about or touched one woman, yet! Where's the heterosexual horndog Kirk of fabled fame? For that matter, where is the utterly BUTCH Kirk of fabled fame? I don't see him yet, and we are half-way through this episode already.
I also feel it is my duty to point out that Kirk keeps getting compared to famous Greeks in this episode.
That's right. GREEKS. Obviously it's an important point, or they wouldn't keep saying it. You know, like they wouldn't keep showing us that Kirk has a shaved chest, if it wasn't an important detail.
What's with the shaved chest? Well for a hint, notice that the GREEK God Apollo also has a shaved chest. It's sort of a GREEK thing, get it?
BTW, FYI, FWIW, the term GREEK is also slang for anal sex. Just thought I'd throw that out there, since there does seem to be a few of you out there who are apparently not 100% fully informed. Why is the term GREEK slang for anal sex (or for those who enjoy anal sex)? Well... the ancient Greeks apparently were quite famous for their love of the practice. Not that you have to be Greek to love it. Obviously people of all nations love it. Well, at least some of them do...
BTW, "Stiff-necked thistlehead" is kind of a sexy ~phallic~ pet-name, isn't it? BTW, betcha Kirk wouldn't be talkin' that way to Scotty if Spock were there.
But I digress...]
Meanwhile, back on the Enterprse, there is a rather prolonged technobabble conversation on the bridge about reversing ship field polarities and rigging subspace bypass units, and such, all in the continuing effort to wriggle the ship free and/or re-establish communication with the landing party.
Next we see that Carolyn Palamas, unfortunately, isn't trying to seduce Apollo for the team. She actually falls in love with Apollo, the dizzy dame. She realizes, while chatting with him, that Apollo is indeed one of the ancient Greek gods. Since she is totally fanatical about myths and ancient cultures and stuff, this information totally blows her away, and she is instantly infatuated. He promises to make a Goddess of her - to make her the mother of a new race of Gods - and to her, this seems like a totally attractive idea.
[NOTE: We never see them do anything but talk and kiss a little, but more-than-talking-and-kissing is certainly on the table.]
Apollo returns alone, and Kirk and gang are all alarmed.
"Where is Lt. Palamas!?" Kirk demands to know.
"She is no longer of any concern to you." Apollo replies.
Scotty freaks out. "YOU BLOODTHRISTY SARACEN!" He grabs a small statuette for a weapon and starts to rush at Apollo, like a complete idiot. "What have you done...!"
Kirk tries to grab Scotty AGAIN, but Mr. Scott rushes past Kirk and Apollo promptly blasts Scotty into insensibility with a most emphatic thunderbolt.
Kirk doesn't like that, and when he starts to complain, Apollo chokes Kirk into silence with another magical gesture.
After this altercation, Apollo suddenly sits on his throne, sighs wearily, and fades away.
Kirk suspects that Apollo's use of his godly powers tires the old boy, and he tells his guys that it looks like Apollo periodically needs to rest. He decides to try deliberately angering Apollo, to provoke him into using up his power in an effort to deplete his energies completely. It's obvious to everyone that this is an extremely risky thing to try - McCoy in particular protests loudly, twice, on the grounds that it's deadly dangerous. Despite the fact that it's sure to get one or more of them killed, Kirk thinks that it's a worthwhile gamble.
[NOTE: Of course, he's a masochist, so of course he thinks that. McCoy, Scott, and Chekov aren't really worried for their own sakes, however, because they know as well as you or I that Kirk will no doubt do whatever it takes to be Apollo's designated pickonee.]
When Apollo returns with Palamas, he tries explaining his demands again, but Kirk and crew suddenly begin scoffing and mocking en masse. This nearly succeeds in enraging God-boy, but just as Kirk is stepping up to claim the spanking he's been cranking for, Palamas intervenes -interposing herself between Apollo and Kirk - and she pleads with Apollo to show mercy. Only to please her, he relents.
[NOTE: This frustrates kinky Kirk terribly, of course!]
Apollo orders Kirk quite firmly to bring the Enterprise's crew down, after which he plans to crush the empty ship.
Apollo and Lt. Palamas chat a bit, then she is allowed to return to Kirk and party, with a message from their captor. The message is that their God Loves Them.
Kirk is all, yeah, yeah. Tell him we said ~thank you~.
Now Kirk decides to pass Palamas back to to Apollo like a shuttlecock... bearing a message from Kirk.
[NOTE: Behold the one time that Kirk actually reaches for a woman in this episode. Also, behold, if you will, exactly how he does it. He and Palamas sit stiffly side by side, not touching, and their manner toward one another is stiffly formal. There is not one smidgen of erotic energy between them. There is absolutely nothing seductive in Kirk's manner, nor in hers. Not only is he not attracted to her, but the feeling (or lack of it) seems to be mutual.
He orders her to give him her hand, and she gives him her hand like it's a dead fish. He then holds her hand like it's a dead fish: aloft, and way from himself, in a very odd, highly formal manner that doesn't look cozy, or even friendly.
Kirk gives her one of his trademarked eloquent little speeches. He reminds her of her duty to her comrades, and to all of humanity, and asks her to, basically, snap out of it, and tell Apollo that he is a big doody-head, and that nobody likes him, including herself. She sadly agrees to comply.
Uhura was working her fingers to the bone to rig that subspace bypass all episode long, and now she is finally ready to test her jerry-rigged radio. Spock stands nearby, all aquiver with hopeful anticipation. It WORKS! Hoorah, hoorah! Uhura saves the day!
Now that Kirk and Spock can chat and conspire, you know things will start getting better right away, and they do. Kirk and Spock swap info, and quickly agree to a plan that will hopefully defeat Apollo.
Meanwhile, Palamas dutifully tells Apollo that he is like a bug or bacteria that she was studying, and breaks his heart. He drops all pretense at being a nice guy, and throws a big tantrum, with thunder and lightening to make it extra special. Palamas screams, and runs for her life.
This does have the desired effect. The force field he was maintaining on the ship begins to weaken, and Spock takes advantage of this to fire the phasers at Apollo's little temple, which they have determined is the source of his power.
[NOTE: Spock finally gets his chance to bore: He uses the ship's phasers to bore a new back door in Apollo's temple.]
Apollo freaks out when he sees what's happening and he fights back, but it's too little too late, and the temple is utterly destroyed.
Scotty sees the disheveled and throughly shook-up Carolyn Palamas, and he rushes protectively to her side, like any normal heterosexual man in love would do. Kirk sees this, and rolls his eyes with pure exasperation.
Shattered, Apollo tearfully complains to Kirk and party about their ingratitude, then calls aloud to the other Gods of the old Greek Pantheon, and asks if he may join them on the wings of the wind. He fades away, and finally disappears for good.
Afterwards, Kirk is a little sad. "Would it have hurt us, I wonder, just to have gathered a few laurel leaves?"
[NOTE: He regrets that they couldn't at least play "worship the God" for a little while, but it was a matter of principle. The guy didn't ask nicely, and he didn't play nicely, so now he's history - again.
It never bothered Kirk that the guy wanted to be worshipped, etc. He just didn't like ~the way that Apollo asked~. That whole *consent* thing, don't you know. Kirk doesn't mind what games mortals and immortals play, as long as everybody involved consents.]
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